I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize