that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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