my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Never joke about your clitoris.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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