I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
