I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
