I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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