my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
send nudes
from the living room?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
