...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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