so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
