just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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