My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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