My first STD was from a foam party
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
