They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
