i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
