she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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