The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Randomize
