I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He better not be in your backpack
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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