Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
