There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
