i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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