they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
