i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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