Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
