bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
so much tequila, so little girl.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize