While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
