gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
