i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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