Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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