he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
