I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
