okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
