after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
We had sex on a dog bed..
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
