i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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