On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
