Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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