Screwed.edu
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
