Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
