How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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