i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
