I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
My hand turned me down
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
50% drunk capacity currently
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
