there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
