there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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