How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
