Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
