Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
