The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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