what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
