ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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