saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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