how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
