ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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