Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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