and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize