woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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