Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
