i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
