Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
