Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
