I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Is it penis luge time yet?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
