Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
