You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
