I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
