But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
