Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
