i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
