Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
