sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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