sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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