Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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