apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize