Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
