ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
