she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
